Finding a Mentor

So, I've learned some things about finding mentors. Here are my thoughts...

1. Never ask anyone to be your mentor. When you ask someone to be your mentor, it sounds like you are asking them to create a curriculum for you. They may think they need to prepare teachings, give homework, or provide professional counseling. Most people you want to be mentored by don't have (or don't think they have) time for it. They'll end up running away.

2. Ask people that you respect why they made the decisions they did. Most of the time, you can learn the most by asking about rationale. Respectfully, of course. Just ask, "Why did you do it that way or make that decision."

3. Seek out feedback. Tell someone who you want mentorship from a decision you made and how you made it. Ask them for their opinion of your decision. Most people love sharing their "take" on a situation. Open the door for people you respect to tell you "what they would have done."

4. Mentor BACK! A good mentoring relationship should never be one sided. I read this in a book "True North." The one surefire way to obtain and retain mentors is to add value to your mentors life. Ask them questions, encourage them, give them feedback on things when they ask for it. If it's all about you all the time, it will wear them out.

5. Always error on the side of less time. If your interactions are productive and breif, they are more likely to welcome interruptions.

6.Tell your mentor how you are applying their advice. The most frustrating experience for someone who is investing time and emotional energy with you would be for you to "soak in" all that they are telling you and not apply it. Give direct examples of how you are applying their insight.

Maybe more to come...

Keep in Mind

Had a recent conversation about something that has been on my mind lately over the past year or so. The thought came from a book I read by Rich Stearns, CEO of World Vision, called "The Hole in the Gospel." The book is a compelling call to action for every Christ follower to be an agent of change, a help to the poor, and visible representation of Christ's love to a hurting world. Stearns made the point that if you were to cut out all the verses in the Bible that had to do with "justice", you would have a tattered, torn apart, and fragmented Bible. You would have a HOLE in the gospel.

Compassion and fighting for justice are foundational to what it means to follow Christ. But, I had another thought that has been on my mind.

The young generation in the church is captivated by this call to action. High school students and twentysomethings seem to jump at the idea of "making a difference!" (Which is an incredibly awesome thing). But, we must remember that it starts first with the salvation part of the gospel.

God is the source of our energy to change the world. If we forget that we are broken people who need grace and forgiveness, we can lose our motivation. If we don't have an intimate relationship with the one who created and saved us, then we are merely activists. Nothing wrong with being an activist, but our energy will eventually dry up.

I believe it will be important for the emerging generation to continue to grow in their love for God AND the causes that result from that love. We will be passionate about helping others because of our gratitude for the way God helped (and is helping) us. If we aren't careful, we will have another hole in the gospel that will be tough to remedy.

Commitment

We are sometimes tempted to believe that commitment limits our opportunities. "If we lock ourselves into something, we won't be able to say yes to others. Our freedom will be limited!" Right? I think...WRONG!

Commitment opens up opportunities. You have to remember that "once in a lifetime" opportunities don't come to people who like to sit on their butt. Most of the time, when something new and fresh emerges, it happens right when you are in the middle of something. Right when you are diligently obeying God, giving it your all, refining your gifts, getting as much learning as you can, and building relationships God says, "Hey, how about this?"

So, COMMIT to something. Give it your best. Doesn't have to be your perfect scenario or dream job. Do your best to be deliberate, thoughtful, and spirit led, but don't let your fear of commitment, not having enough time, and being "tied down" be a barrier for you to experience the thrill of seeing what is on the other side of the mountain.

Emotional Emergency Savings Account

Do you have an emergency savings account? You know, a set aside portion of money to be used for emergency situations only?

Dave Ramsey, a financial guide and teacher for millions, says "there is no such thing as an emergency, there is just life." Life is full of emergencies (financially speaking), so it is wise for each one of us to be diligent to save a certain amount of money to be spent when needed (so that we don't get trapped by debt).

I think the same in true with our "emotional bank account." Too many of us push ourselves to the limit, skip out on basic spiritual practices, don't engage in deep and meaningful conversation, or give our minds a break from the constant messages we receive from an array of media inlets. We deplete our resources to a danger zone. When emotional emergencies come (bad news, hurt feelings, a tricky problem at work, an irritable friend, family member, co-worker or employee, etc.) we don't have any reserve to give what is necessary.

Don't let this happen to you. Spend time in the Word. Reflect on God's goodness in your life. Laugh. Have an interesting conversation with a friend. Be careful with your emotional output (as well as your input). Rest. Do things that energize you. Discover how God has wired you and give it your best. Then, when emergencies come...you will have an "emotional emergency savings account" to access.

Pouring it Out

I remember a story I heard of King David when he was a young leader. He had a loyal group of followers/soldiers/comrades who served God, their nation, and their leader with passion. They were known as David's "Mighty Men."

In 2 Samuel 23, David told his men he longed for a drink of water. From what it looks like in the scripture, he was not asking them to fulfill his request. He was just making a remark or stating a fact. When the men heard this, three of David's mightiest warriors broke through enemy lines and risked their lives to retrieve a jar of water for David. When the men presented the jar to David, he was so blown away by their servant's hearts that he poured out the drink offering on the ground as an act of worship to God and acknowledgment of His goodness. He said, "The Lord forbid that I drink this! This water is as precious as the blood of these men who risked their lives to bring it to me."

What an act of courage and "in the moment" leadership by David! He was deeply touched by the valiant effort of his men and worshiped God because of it. It's a good reminder to all of us in leadership. When people go above and beyond for the cause/ministry/business you lead, don't get impressed with yourself. Don't chalk it up to "good leadership." Acknowledge God for his goodness, be deeply touched by those that serve alongside you, and praise Him for the GLORY you just saw lived out through others.

I was humbled by this story. David's passion, character, strength, and awareness of the bigger picture as a young leader should be paid attention to.